H8FC The Cage 29 December 2011

A new step ahead for H8FC. First time we get together for football at The Cage near Stadium MRT.

Here are the summaries(not in order of importance)...

Wee Zheng - Plays better in The Cage. Can score goals which he rarely does.

Alex - He will be the heart of H8FC. A future legend.

David - Blasts the ball from distance as usual.

Crazy Kang Xiang - When defending, should go forward less. Good player overall.

Syahrein - As good as Petr Cech. As dirty as David Luiz.

Cher Siang - Another guy who wants me dead. He is needed in defence though.

Shyong Ming - DANGERMAN. DANGERMAN. He must be marked. Give him an inch of space and he will score from anywhere.

Weeseng - ?

Keith - Natural winger. Very difficult to stop him.

Nicholas - We are rich in central-midfield positions.

Jia Qi - Plays well in The Cage.

That girl at the counter is hot.

Then we went to have our lunch at Old Airport Road.

The Cage I saw on a Nike ad, the whole place is covered with metal. The one we played is a cheap imitation. We had fun anyways.

H8FC Training 17 December 2011

Another good day of football. The first match should be forgotten. I was stationed as goalkeeper. But there were no defenders at all! Few saves from me meant nothing as we lost 5-0. I was made to look like a complete loser. Though David angrily claimed he was defending, truth is there's no one at the back to cover me. No one.

But the match of the day was an exhilirating 5-4 victory for the other team.

Team A

Ali
Syahrein
Cher Siang
Ah San
David
Nicholas
Shyong Ming
Alex
Jerwin

Team B

Tang Yao
Crazy
Bossy Guy
Andi
Daniel
Kelvin
Chinese Topless Guy
Ronaldo Guy
How Meng

Tell me if I accidentally left anyone out. I'll edit this post.

When Ali volunteered to be goalkeeper, the formation was 3-5-0. For Team B, 1-4-3. Team A were constantly harassed and stalked by the marauding attackers of Team B. The awesome foursome of Andi, Chinese Topless Guy, Daniel and Ronaldo Guy were passing the ball around like nobody's business.

Especially that Ronaldo Guy. Beating me on that right-flank more times than I keeping the ball away from him. Please stop comparing me to Ashley Cole as I was wearing a Chelsea jersey. If I have the sexiest woman in my country as my wife, why the hell would I cheat on her?

Thank God there were Cher Siang and Ah San helping me defend. Cher Siang may want me dead but he is a good defender. He will go to NS and become thin. David, Nicholas and Alex are not really co-existing in the middle of the park. Though they did combine well for us to take the game to 4-4.

Jerwin may be lightweight but he did some vital interceptions from the awesome foursome. Shyong Ming again is the shining light of the team. Going everywhere to win the ball and dribble. He sure will be in the constant first XI when H8FC becomes official.

Crazy Kang Xiang did a wonderful one-man defence. He got all the qualities as a defender. When he goes to JC/Poly, I stress, Kang Xiang you MUST go for trials in your school team. You got nothing to lose. You pass the trial, who knows an S-League club may approach you. You fail, well you'll never know unless you tried.

I don't know where Bossy Guy came from. This guy disappeared for several months and appeared out of nowhere to join us again. Andi is the mastermind behind the awesome foursome. Commanding like a general, with Topless Guy on the left, Daniel spearheading the attack and that *holds breath* Ronaldo guy on the right...I'm glad, me, Ah San and Cher Siang are up for the task.

Kelvin and How Meng had off day. Maybe that awesome foursome stole the show. Very good match. Ronaldo Guy clinched the Golden Goal with that sepak takraw strike. I cannot beat someone who plays like Cristiano Ronaldo ok so STFU.

Cristiano Ronaldo vs Ashley Cole video. Do bear with the 20 second delay and lower the noisy volume.

H8FC 3 Jeff And Company 0

I told you all there's no need to do the finger counting. H8FC vs the rest. After the finger counting, all those guys Jeff brought along go to the other side anyways. They didn't even realize they were outnumbered.

It was basically H8FC and the formation is 4-5-2

GK - Tang Yao

LB - Keith
CD - Crazy
CD - Syahrein
RB - Wee Zheng

LM - Shyong Ming
CM - Alex
DM - Javier
CM - David
RM - Uncle

RW - Ronaldo guy

ST - Daniel

It was easy stroll because the opponents do not understand the pitch. We have played on the pitch for a year so we know what type of ball to play and not to play. There are double spies in the opposition camp. Cher Siang, Jia Qi, Andi and even Ali purposely sabotaged their team for that day.

Uncle scored the first goal. David scored with a rare header. And Cher Siang gifted us with a goal. So it's a walkover.

I think I did very well as a defender. Defend by any means necessary. Who told my ex to leave me? Who told Joeleen to pick the wrong boyfriends? Who told my next-door-neighbour to kiss those bastards outside my house? Who told Miss Teo to ignore me and talk to those satans? All these came to a head and I'm sorry if I break someone's legs on a Saturday afternoon so DON'T try me!

We have a strong team. When you all work, we will poll money and I will choose a private league for you. Rent a stadium with referees. If we become so good, I will ask for friendly matches against weak S-League teams like Tanjong Pagar and Woodlands for starters. They may send their reserves and youth players. If we beat them, people will start treating us seriously.

H8FC Training 19 November 2011

10 people played today after heavy rain

Syahrein - Another excellent performance as goalkeeper.

Crazy - His defensive skills sorely needed. Should defend more and go up to take a shot when needed.

Daniel - Big improvement in not taking shots from distance. Can accelerate all the way and beat any keeper with his shots.

David - Very diffiuclt to save his hard shots. No fullbacks to stop him when he attacks from the flanks.

Shyong Ming - I see he can pair up with Daniel in attack. Like two bishops in a chess game.

Cher Siang - Was in one of my team. We were down by 4-0. He may not like me but he scored two goals in a space of one minute to help us lose 5-3 and not 5-0.

Andi - Very skillful as we all know. I'm glad he changed to a nice guy. What other Malay ah bengs should be.

Wee Zheng - Not that good today. Maybe he should invite his girl *space* friends to see him play then maybe he can perform.

Keith - I can't seem to know which is his position. He's everywhere on the pitch. Very fast though.

Nicholas - Doesn't want to play defender when I asked him to. We are short of defenders!

David, Crazy, Cher Siang, Wee Zheng and me went home by walking and not taking the bus. Because Wee Zheng is scared of the big gangster at the bus-stop. What can he do to us? 4 of us grab his both arms and legs and together we hammer him no problem right?

Now I'll take you back to 1996 where this goal by David Beckham propelled him to superstar status. You must see...

H8FC Training 12 November 2011

Today I realized our team seriously need defenders. Our series of 6 on 6 matches, there are absolutely no defenders except for your Cher Siang. When I arrived and had to play goalkeeper, the 5 people in front refuse to be defenders. I asked Alex to stopgap behind as a sweeper. That helped my team to bring the game to 4-4. But Alex's natural instincts took over and he went in front. Players like Andi and Daniel had a field day with me and I can't stop them one-on-one.

Crazy decided to play striker today. But I prefer him to play defender. Ah San is a good defender. At his age, are we going to let him join our squad if the age limit is unlimited in our future private league?

We have too many midfielders for our liking. Like Nicholas, David, that policeman, Wee Zheng...and notable absentees like Jeff and Xavier. They all play in similar position. We are in need of defenders. Some of them need to tuck in and defend or we have to make do with the Brothers Of Destruction and me as goalkeeper. :(

That yaya papaya guy had another off day. All I have to do is play keeper and Cher Siang will focus on him instead of me. These two will make a perfect wrestling match as they both are around the same height and weight and maybe BMI.

Take a look at this blockbuster of a video. Gerard Pique Vs Cristiano Ronaldo. Pique defending at all costs. Ronaldo trying his best to avoid breaking his legs.

H8FC Training 5 November 2011

Another good day of football. I didn't update earlier because Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I had to work and I'm tired.

I think 15 people played

Alex
David
Wee Zheng
Shyong Ming
Tang Yao
Cher Siang
Javier
Jeff
Ah San
Uncle
Syahrein
How Meng
Jia Qi
Keith
Chinese Topless Guy

Did I miss anyone?

I don't know what to talk about all of your performances. It seemed for around one year I've been heaping praises at you all and I don't get any back. When you all work and have your own money, I will register ourselves in a private league. Money will not be a problem as we all will poll the cash and we have enough people to build a squad with substitutes and reserves.

Take a look at this magnificent pass by Frank Lampard for Drogba to score. To be fair, you got to know your teammate well to execute this. Because if you don't, your teammate will be out of position and the ball wasted. Many wasted balls from Lampard, Ramires and Mikel as Fernando Torres do not understand them.

H8FC Training 30 October 2011

11 people played?

Wee Zheng - Got owned by me in many occasions. Well, at least he is now prepared for physical battle if he wants to continue 'playing in front of the back four'.

Alex - Formed a brilliant partnership with me and Uncle in a 3-on-3 match. 5-0 we won.

David - One of those days.

Cher Siang - You people tell him.

Ah San - Rare own goal.

Syahrein - You people came and you people saw what I did with the ball from one end to another.

Andi - Another brilliant all-round performance.

Chinese Topless Guy - Skills aplenty.

Adi - Can score goals but miss plenty too.

Uncle - He's the man. Here's another MAN OF THE MATCH

Jerwin - Last survivor of the YCK clan.

Did I miss anyone out?

This is how Hitler would react to Chelsea's loss to Arsenal if he was still alive...

H8FC Training 22 October 2011

Wee Zheng - The more you people call him Da Pang, the more he becomes thinner, you become fatter.

Shyong Ming - Another all-round contribution. Probably the fastest player on the pitch.

David - Did well as emergency defender.

Alex - Kicked back at me for my painful lunge with my studs. Totally accidental.

Andi - I like this kind of Malay guy. Doesn't boss around others. Bad guy turned good?

Andi's Little Friend - He must had heard of you people calling him lousy. Took him one week to let out his frustration and scored a hat-trick.

Andi's Policeman Friend - He does behave like a policeman. But his football skills are on par with us.

Andi's Little Friend's Malay Gangster Friend - He's like the average Malay pai-kia with what comes out of his mouth. Became subdued after 30 minutes as he is surrounded by good people.

Adi - Another once in 3 months guy.

Ah San - Seems a little distracted our grand old man. Wonder why.

Uncle - Another bad guy turned good? Every week puts in excellent performances.

Syahrein - Have you people met any goalkeeper more entertaining than me?

Chinese Topless Guy - Plenty of skills.

Xavier - Very good ball control. Still I think he's best as central defender.

Cher Siang - Gods will only grant curses for people who are evil.

Did I miss anyone out?

Here are some sexy pics of Wayne Rooney's wife...

H8FC Training 15 October 2011

Crazy - Another excellent performance. He must go for trials at his school team when he's in JC/Poly.

Alex - The usual good stuffs. Passes short and long. Testing keeper from distance.

David - Biggest strength is always his powerful shots.

Shyong Ming - How can he not be in his Poly football team?

Wee Zheng - Slowly improving.

Syahrein - My name is Qyaerus-Syahrein. I'm the auntie killer.

Keith - One of the best players on the pitch.

Andi - Skilled Malay player.

Andi's Policeman Friend - Goes up too much. Should be more defensive.

Andi's Little Friend - Yaya papaya. Goal scored was a fluke.

Xavier - He should play centre-defence but played midfield. One of the reasons why my team lost the last game.

Jeff - He doesn't get tired of running around. Which is good.

Ah San - Seems not happy today.

David's Friend - Well he seemed happy to play.

Winston - Another new guy. Intercepts well. Don't know if this is his first and last.

Daniel - Came back from lengthy injury spell. Rusty but managed to score past the guy who injured him.

Tang Yao - Willing to perform as goalkeeper only when his teammates are pro.

Cher Siang - Got shackled by David.

Do tell me if I accidentally miss anyone.

In 1999, USA won the Women's World Cup and this player removed her jersey and showed her sports bra after scoring the winning goal. Click below to see...

H8FC Training 9 October 2011

I don't understand why when I play outfield my teammates refuse to pass the ball to me. I did a wonderful job as goalkeeper again.

Tang Yao did many saves as goalkeeper. But I saved more on this day. And it's unfair when both of us played goalkeeper, his team won.

Crazy is following the way the new MU sensation Phil Jones play. A defender who can bring the ball out of defence and tests the keeper with a shot.

Cher Siang is trying to play like a MU defender.

Andi's style of play doesn't really suit the wet ground. Difficult for him to weave around.

Andi's policeman friend is all buffed and toughed and for us to actually can match up to him show that you all are going to be strong people in your 20s.

Chinese Topless Guy is still like a character from your PsP football games.

Alex needs to add more repertoire to his game so that he can have the sense of unpredictability. He does have the basics like a wide range of passing.

I think David should try switching from midfielder to support striker. Playing just behind the main striker, outmuscling the defenders and laying assists. Can try long shots sometimes.

Ah San played when it's getting dark. At his age can still dribble and score.

Wee Zheng is improving and improving. Two online clearances when I was beat as keeper.

Jeff again running around with the ball. His stubborness at passing the ball to me only a few times resulted in shots over the bar and long balls that don't reach the target.

Uncle again is giving excellent performances every Saturday. MAN OF THE MATCH

Nicholas is a good player. One of the absurd reasons why so many people are more cu-koo than us but their parents don't send them 'there' for 'treatment'.

Did I accidentally leave anyone out?

H8FC Training 1 October 2011

I think 14 people played today. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Alex
Crazy
David
Syahrein
Wee Zheng
Shyong Ming
Cher Siang
Topless Chinese Guy
Jeff
Jeff's Friend
Andi
Uncle
Nicholas
New Blue Shirt Indian Guy

Today Alex was his usual self. Like the playmaker that he is. He just needs to rough it up with the tackles and he would be the complete midfielder.

Crazy is like Phil Jones. He can bring the ball out of defence and dribble all the way and trouble the keeper with a shot.

David did two brilliant things today. I gave a long ball as keeper and he finishes it with a goal. Cher Siang punted the ball too in another match and David finishes it too past me this time.

I think I had a good game as goalkeeper. How long I took to concede in one of our 5-goal matches? Around 30 minutes? Saves after saves until Uncle ended that.

This Wee Zheng is rapidly improving damn fast. When I first knew him in 2008, he was fat, slow and clumsy. Fast forward to this day, he is slimmer and at least useful playing football. And I don't understand why intelligent girls are attracted to him.

Shyong Ming as we all know is one of the best in our team. There was once he was clear on goal. I was playing goalkeeper. I did what a keeper could do by closing him down. SM was so fast he scored past me and I'm left going for the ball but brought him down instead.

Cher Siang will be different 5 years later. I've seen a lot of boys like him. Overweight, goes to NS becomes slim and becomes rich selling pirated items. Then marry a sexy wife.

Topless Chinese Guy is very fit. He plays too much Shaolin Soccer game and tries to do fancy moves.

Jeff is always full of energy and running everywhere. I can see he's used to the normal pitch. Our goalposts are not big so his shots are off-target.

Jeff's Friend is at least passing me the ball when I play outfield unlike last time. He does have the basic skills.

What was Andi thinking wearing sunglasses while playing? For someone with tattoos, it's strange he is humble and happy playing football.

Thanks to Uncle for picking us up from the bus stop in his lorry. Every week he puts on a 5 star performance.

Teck Seng's friend Nicholas is like Charlie Adam isn't he? Like me, Teck Seng is picky when choosing friends. I've known him since 2005 and all his friends are nice people. Good he introduced Nicholas to us.

New Blue Shirt Indian Guy may look a little overweight like how most of you knew me in 2008. But I think he did well on his first day. He knows where to position himself during play.

On a last note, I'm glad all of us played attractive brand of football by playing the ball on the ground most of the times. I hope long balls are played on a minimum. I don't really like long balls as the opponents can cut them off. I prefer buliding short passes from the back like Barcelona, Chelsea and Liverpool before you were born. And try to curb long shots as 9 out of 10 times won't work on the uneven ground.

H8FC Training 24 September 2011

Tang Yao - Good goalkeeper and good defender.

Crazy - Another good showing. You know I can afford to buy you a new pair of spectacles if you want.

Cher Siang - A couple of blunders. But still ok.

Alex - Class midfielder. He puts in the tackles and he will be all-round.

David - Seems like he never fails to score from distance every Saturday.

Syahrein - Below average everytime. (Shut up. Quite a lot of people know who Q-S is).

Shyong Ming - What if one day he decides to talk a lot? He does have the talent to walk his talk you know.

Wee Zheng - He's ok. Just some misplaced passes.

Keith - Superb overlapping left-back. Scored spectacular goals on this day. And I mean really spectacular. MAN OF THE MATCH

Jeff - How dare he ask me how old I am? He's suitable for the normal-sized pitch with normal-sized goalposts.

Jeff's friend - This guy comes around once every 3 months. But he's skilful.

Uncle - Not afraid to park his vehicle on a double yellow line. Maybe he can pay off the fine easily. His football skills are that damn good.

Nicholas - He doesn't look handicapped at all doesn't he? Scored a blockbuster too.

Xavier - Excellent defender. Seems he must have represented some club somewhere.

Ah San - Not bad as a goalkeeper. We need him to find us a legal pitch.

Do tell me did I accidentally leave anyone out and I will edit this post.

After the workout, we celebrated Ah San's bookout from the Army. Thanks for the lontong. Chelsea whipped Swansea 4-1 with 10 men. Liverpool narrowly beat Wolves. And Manchester United? You all know when I talk rubbish and when I talk real. I predicted 1-1 and it was 1-1.

H8FC Training 17 September 2011

Today everyone playing on the forbidden pitch brought their A-Game. They all gave their best and it was a very entertaining and exhilirating contests of a series of 5-goal matches.

The core 8 - Alex, David, Crazy, Shyong Ming, Wee Zheng, Cher Siang, Tang Yao and the mastermind of all masterminds...me, started with a 4 on 4. Then more people joined. The 2nd match was tied at 4-4 and the team against mine won 5-4. If those playing thought that was one hell of a match, the final match was as good as it too....

MAIN EVENT 7 on 7

Team A

Syahrein
Tang Yao
Cher Siang
Jia Qi
Wee Zheng
Jeff
Shyong Ming

Team B

David
Crazy
Alex
Chinese Topless Guy
Malay Topless Guy
David's Friend
Liverpool Indian New Guy

Team B started full of intent with Alex pulling the strings and after a few minutes they were ahead 1-0 when Chinese Topless Guy pulled the trigger and me as goalkeeper couldn't see the low shot coming. That didn't dampen our spirits. Tang Yao who was like Undertaker and Cher Siang like Kane were giving the harsh treatment to Team B all match long. Jia Qi and Wee Zheng were trying to control the midfield like Xavi and Iniesta. Jeff was running everywhere full of vigour and not giving up.

We had a little break in between. Like Jose Mourinho, I realized where we needed fixing. So I asked Shyong Ming to play striker. David and Crazy swapped places as goalkeeper. Crazy is very busy defending and when it's David's turn outfield, he and Alex just couldn't see eye-to-eye with the two topless guys. After the match, Alex gave a crude comment about those two that I just cannot type here.

David's friend, who's like Peter Crouch in the previous match tried but couldn't cut it in this match. A new Indian guy who wears a Liverpool T-Shirt is a good player. Seemed he's positioned as right-back and can go forward to score. Which he did score the 5th goal in that match my team lost 5-4.

Back to the main event. So with a little tactical switch from Syahrein Villas-Boas, Shyong Ming went all the way and scored like Fernando Torres when he was in Liverpool. 1-1. Both teams toiled to score the winner. Tang Yao and Cher Siang in front of me didn't care if they land any of the Team B players in hospital as long as they don't score.

The sky became dark so I told everyone to stop playing as we can't see each other. A 1-1 draw is more than sufficient. Overall, 17 September 2011 was a very good day of football for us. There's blood on my left knee after I saved a shot from Alex. I'm glad I did fairly well as goalkeeper today. All because that girl refused to go out with me on my birthday. Girls, do continue to break my heart. I will always be better than your boyfriends. :>

H8FC Training 10 September 2011

I'm working Monday-Friday now and I'm tired so I can't update this blog fast enough. I didn't much remember what happened last Saturday. Except that I had a crap game both as keeper and outfield.

Wee Zheng was guilty of giving up when my team was down by a lot of goals. The scoreline would be much slimmer if Wee Zheng had not bent over for the other team and 2 or 3 of his 'assists' were for the other team. And one own goal from Cher Siang's free kick from way out said it all.

My brain and my heart is in so much pain now and I'm sorry I cannot recall everything that happened last Saturday. Hopefully, as now Sunday I'm off, I may update every Sunday.

H8FC Training 3 September 2011

Summary for those who played...

Tang Yao - Given a strong team, he will perform.

Crazy - Better as defender than attacker. But still, as an attacker he's better than some of the other players.

Ah San - The best header of the ball on the pitch.

David - Seemed akward I don't know why. But at least he scored almost every Saturday.

Syahrein - It's a crime how newspaper published my football articles but I'm crap when playing it.

Uncle - He got all the techniques. Very good player.

Jeff(Liverpool guy) - All-rounder. Very fit.

Cher Siang - I get this feeling 10 years later he's going to be thin and take revenge on those who mocked him.

Andi - This Malay guy is full of skills. Almost nobody can dispossess him when he got the ball.

Shyong Ming - Doesn't like to talk. Does his talking on the pitch.

Keith - Rather quiet on this day surrounded by good players.

Nicholas - Good football player.

Wee Zheng - Boy I am priveleged to see you all grow up. Why are you people still calling him Da Pang when he's getting thinner?

Jia Qi - The average player. Not the best but not the worst. At least he's better than me when playing.

Did I accidentally leave anyone out?

H8FC Training 27 August 2011

Team A

Syahrein
Crazy
David
Alex
Uncle
Liverpool Guy
Cher Siang

Team B

Tang Yao
Wee Zheng
Nicholas
Topless Chinese Guy
Ah San
How Meng
Andi
Keith


Team B are just too good for Team A. They have extra man too. Team B won 13-9. I was crap today as keeper and crappier outfield. Crazy good at defending and shouldn't go up too much. David didn't do too well though he did score another cracker from distance. Alex couldn't find targets to pass the ball as the only available option is Uncle. Liverpool Guy on his first day did well. Uncle was full of energy and vibe and didn't deserve to be in the losing team. Cher Siang did what he could.

Tang Yao saved plenty of shots. Wee Zheng stopped a lot of players from dribbling past him. Nicholas was a part of his school team in his secondary school years so he got the techniques. Topless Chinese Guy is a very fit and very skilful player. Andi is still the best player on the pitch. Ah San's experience is put to good use. It's because of the trio of Topless Chinese Guy, Andi and Ah San that made all the difference for Team B to win. Finally, you put Keith and How Meng on the flanks and Team A is done and dusted.

Man Of The Match: ANDI

H8FC Training 20 August 2011

There's a 6 on 7 match worth mentioning

Team A

Tang Yao
Crazy
Cher Siang
Shyong Ming
Alex
Andi

Team B

Syahrein
Ah San
Uncle
Nicholas
Wee Zheng
Jia Qi
David

The major difference is Andi. He weaves around our team like a snake and only one or two times he was stolen in possession. My team were up 4-0 and then Andi arrived and made a world of difference with his assists with half-time at 5-3.

Although Team B had one more guy, nobody had an answer for the craft of Andi. We lost 12-8. I get this feeling I saved more than 12 shots but it all came to waste as we lost. Ah San and Uncle combination were fruitful in the 8 goals we scored. Nicholas did well. Wee Zheng did all he could. Jia Qi rusty after not playing with us for so long. And one of the eight core David? He should ask Uncle Ah San what he thought of his performance. Though he did score a thunderbolt.

Team A won and a couple of them are always happy they beat any team I'm in. What positivity can I see from this? Since a lot of guys want to better than an award-winning football writer like me, Singapore will always be the best country in South East Asia. How lucky they are their fathers don't send them to mental hospital for losing their temper. (Who fucking doesn't?!)

Crazy defended very well. Something about Crazy Kang Xiang is that he is a coal about to turn into a diamond. He got every gift to be a true playa in the future. He's going to break a lot of girls' hearts and put down many guys who try to bring him down.

Shyong Ming again had another good performance. Alex is providing the cover and ammunition linking up well with Andi. If not for Andi, the score will be tighter. So...

Man Of The Match: ANDI

H8FC Training 13 August 2011

This is a warning for days to come. Take a look at the teamsheets first...

Team A

Tang Yao
Cher Siang
Kang Xiang(Crazy)
Ah San
Alex
David
Orange Shirt Guy

Team B

Syahrein
Wee Zheng
Shyong Ming
Uncle
Xavier
Nicholas
Daniel

I didn't leave anyone out?

Though this is hard to swallow for most of you, the star-studded team lost 8-2. I don't have to be arrogant about this, I'm stating facts. Usually when the Teo brothers are all in the same team, they always win but not today.

What went wrong for Team A? After the Orange Shirt Guy left, they crumble? No. We are talking about the creme de la creme of H8FC with Tang Yao, Cher Siang and the Teo brothers in the same team. So even with one man down, they should be able to beat my team. What about Ah San being the difference maker? This is unbelievable. Two of the 'worst' players - me and Wee Zheng drawn to Team B, this is like a relegation-threatened team upsetting Manchester City.

I thought Wee Zheng really stood out in this game. When I first knew him in 2008, that boy couldn't play football at all. Now we can't deny his intelligence as his academic results show. For 3 years, I'm sure he's been searching the internet for football techniques. Slowly he's been improving and today he showed why he wants to play 'just in front of the back 4'. How can we call him Da Pang anymore when he's getting thinner and thinner? I hope he doesn't go over the head with all these praises and maintain his standard next week.

Reasons why Team A lost -

*Wee Zheng best form of his life

*I got lucky as goalkeeper

*That uncle in grey played very, very well

*Shyong Ming, Xavier and Nicholas played their heart out for reasons I don't know


Daniel missed a lot of chances and if he scored them, I think the 5 of you are going to murder me, Shyong Ming and Wee Zheng after the match. If we have another match, I think it's safer to put me as goalkeeper. Since Tang Yao claims he's a fighter, put him in centre defence and he can break legs. Maybe I pulled off stunning saves today because I'm angry my next-door-neighbour again bring her boyfriend outside my house and AV is slutting with other guys.

MAN OF THE MATCH: WEE ZHENG

H8FC Training 6 August 2011

I want that fat girl to read this. Wee Zheng go tell her to read this.

Hey fattie, who the hell you think you are? You want to sue me for this post? I can counter-sue you for calling me shit and ugly in Chinese. Do you know that you can't play football? If you play like those UWC girls or girls from sports school, I can tolerate it. But you called me shit in Chinese, HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME BY THE COLOUR OF MY SKIN?!

I talked to you and you ignore me. That's fine. But you berating me to the others is something I cannot take. Yes, I WAS interested in you. After they tell you that, what did you do? You find me repulsive, you ignored my existence and you actually think that I'm a useless person. I hate you now and my female colleagues working at the counter are ALL a thousand times nicer and prettier than you!

Hey let me tell you this, all your male friends are nothing compared to me. Let me break this down for you so that you will understand - all-the-sports-reporters-in-The-New-Paper-know-me. Iain Macintosh is my friend. He-doesn't-know-ALL-your-male-friends.

Before you dare call me shit in Chinese, I have achieved much more than ALL your male friends combined. My name is 'Qyaerus-Syahrein'. Google it, bitch!


Ok friends, as for our match, I can't remember much about it. Except we were leading 3-0 and then lost 7-3. Well Tang Yao is happy about it as he played for the winning team.

I'm trying to recall the teamsheets so if I missed out someone, please tell me...

Team A

Crazy
Alex
David
Syahrein
Kevin
Wee Zheng
Keith
Fat Girl

Team B

Tang Yao
Ah San
Uncle
Orange Shirt Guy
Daniel
Jerwin
Kelvin
Nicholas
Shyong Ming


It was a good day of football. Hope we can get together every Saturday till we can't play anymore.

H8FC Training 30 July 2011

So many kids joined us today. And they are the polished stuffs as they got the technique. I guess they attended football clinics before. While some of us learn how to play football through library books.

I guess the regulars who played today were: Shyong Ming, Wee Zheng, Tang Yao, Cher Siang, David, Syahrein, Ah San, Daniel and Andi. Alex and Crazy were sorely missed. We were divided into two groups in one of the matches.

Shyong Ming, Wee Zheng, Tang Yao, Cher Siang and David were suspiciously in the same team thanks to David's 'finger of God'. The new bunch of kids were spread out between the two teams. The match ended 4-3 in the weaker team's favour. As Tang Yao and Cher Siang don't want to lose face conceding the 5th to my team because I got...view my personal blog www.q-s81.blogspot.com for my latest post 'I NEVER had mental illness part 2'.

Good thing about you people is you are willing to let bad feelings pass quick. So after that 4-3 loss, we played a last game where Tang Yao, Cher Siang, Wee Zheng and me are of the same team and we all joked about it.

If those bunch of kids come again next week, let's have a match. This is my proposed formation...

(4-3-3)

GK - Tang Yao

LB - Crazy
CD - Andi
CD - New Guy
RB - Cher Siang

DM - Wee Zheng
CM - Alex
CM - David

LW - Syahrein
ST - Ah San
RW - Shyong Ming

Subs: Any jabronies with less than 80% attendance for the year.

Since Daniel introduced those kids to us, he will be playing for them. (May not be a good idea because he can single-handedly win a game).

Anyone of you not happy with the teamsheet can leave comment.

H8FC Training 23 July 2011

Today, the most memorable match is a 5-3 victory.

Team A

Tang Yao
Cher Siang
Crazy
Ah San
MG's friend
Jerwin
David
Syahrein
Daniel

Team B

Nicholas
Teck Seng
Kelvin
MG
Shyong Ming
Joey
New Guy
Uncle
Mysterious Chinese Guy

If I accidentally miss anyone out, do let me know.

On paper Team B are finished. Teck Seng 95% of the time did nothing and 'Angelina' Joey is an out-an-out female so with these 2 in defence, this is a gone case match.

Daniel had a wonderful game and slid in the low cross for me to tap home and made it 1-0. Tang Yao, Cher Siang and Crazy were cheering. It's good they were drawn in my team or Tang Yao and Cher Siang will be cursing instead.

Then Daniel made it 2-0 and 3-0 and we were cruising. Team A are a solid unit. With Cher Siang, Crazy and Ah San playing like professional defenders, we couldn't be broken. Or so we thought...

The trio of attackers from Team B in Uncle, Mysterious Chinese Guy and Shyong Ming combined to score 3 goals. Sandwiched in between is another goal from Daniel and the score was at 4-3.

Playing for my team is MG's friend who did well as a defensive midfielder. David helps to contain possession in the middle. Jerwin v Teck Seng on our right flank is like watching Woodlands v Tanjong Pagar. Tang Yao made a lot of ground-shaking important saves for Team A.

Teck Seng's friend Nicholas is better as an outfield player and I don't know why he was playing goalkeeper for Team B. Kelvin wasn't good. That new guy in red had all the skills but it just wasn't his day. MG weaved around us like a snake but he just couldn't do it today. Shyong Ming had a good game with a couple of long range shots. Uncle and Mysterious Chinese Guy had lot of telephaties but that wasn't enough. And I still am a little attracted to Joey.

MAN OF THE MATCH: DANIEL. Scored 4 goals as Team A won 5-3.

Today was a very good day of football. We got to find a legal place later. That 'No Ball Games' sign may haunt us like a horror show.

H8FC Training 16 July 2011

A lot of people played today. I'm not sure whether it was 8 on 8 or 9 on 9 or one team got a player less. But one match I remembered is definitely this...

Team A

Syahrein Crazy Shyong Ming David Motorbike Guy Ah San Daniel How Meng Jerwin

Team B

Tang Yao Cher Siang Andi Bossy Guy Joey Wee Zheng Uncle Adi Mysterious Chinese Guy Kelvin

Did I leave anyone out? Team A gave a masterclass performance. It's easy for me playing goalkeeper as Crazy and Shyong Ming defended very, very well. We were up by 4-0 and had Daniel buried those chances, we would have won by 5-0 and me keeping a clean sheet.

When my team was up by 4-0, that mysterious Chinese guy and Adi managed to score and made it 4-2. Well, we won 5-2 anyways and it's a pleasing result.

And David wants to remind all of you jabronies that he had not one, not two but FIVE assists.

I'll try a new type of rating today...

Syahrein 6/10

Crazy 9/10

Shyong Ming 9/10

David 8/10

Motorbike Guy 4/10

Ah San 9/10

Daniel 7/10

How Meng 7/10

Jerwin 7/10


Team B

Tang Yao 7/10

Cher Siang 5/10

Andi 8/10

Bossy Guy 6/10

Joey 3/10

Wee Zheng 6/10

Uncle 8/10

Adi 7/10

Mysterious Chinese Guy 8/10

Kelvin 5/10

See you all this Saturday.

H8FC Training 9 July 2011

Today is just plain ridiculous. That mysterious Chinese guy brought along with him a few friends to join us play. What next? He is going to ask all his classmates from high school to play with us? Then we can have 11 v 11 with plenty of substitutes. Ridiculous.

There were also a couple of guys who joined us out of nowhere. There's this red shirt guy on his first day with us and giving all of us orders. His FIRST day and he already act like a captain? Why must he join us today? Why can't he play with some other people at some other place? I suspect he was kicked out of his football team for being bossy.

I didn't remember how many people played. I did remember the last game we played where my team lost 7-5 and I played as goalkeeper. I thought I did ok although I conceded 7. During "half-time" my team were down by 3-2. Then in the "2nd half", I couldn't believe I let in 4 goals in the space of 5 minutes. But Daniel didn't give up and scored a brace to make it 7-5.

My team got no defenders. Joey, Shyong Ming playing in an emergency position and that new guy at right-back. Of course it's always nice to see the bubblicious Joey. Then there's that bossy red-shirt guy, the orange-shirt guy, Andi, an uncle and somemore playing in midfield I forgot.

My opponents are the all-star team. Tang Yao as goalkeeper. Cher Siang in defence. Alex, David and Crazy also playing. Alex, David and Crazy are brothers. So when they play in the same team, of course I'm like a sitting duck as goalkeeper. Wee Zheng was also there. And Ah San, the difference maker. My team were totally outclassed. There's also this yellow shirt guy who got a poacher instinct and beat me many times because he knows the positions where he can score.

I wish these new people never came. Apologies if I accidentally left out anyone in this post.

H8FC Training 2 July 2011

I guess 17 people played today...

David - I would like to see him shoot from distance in standard goalposts and field. The forbidden ground we play in makes all our long shots off target.

Crazy - He should try for school team when in JC or Poly.

Tang Yao - Give him a solid team, he will perform well. Give him lousy team...

Syahrein - Better off as keeper.

Wee Zheng - Slowly improving.

Kelvin - Nobody will believe I knew him before you all. Saw him first at the street soccer court when Temasek Poly suspended me.

Jerwin - No fire in his belly yet.

Daniel - He reminds me of the Coyote in The Road Runner Show.

Ah San - Did he play for a Singapore club when he was young?

Joey - Oh she will regret ignoring me one day.

Teck Seng - "My friend is not well. He got..."

Shyong Ming - Very, very skilful.

Keith - He can run the whole length of the flank and score.

Malay Gangster - What's this guy's real name? I have to say his name for him to pass the ball to me. Maybe he wouldn't either way.

Nicholas(Teck Seng's friend)- I'm surprised this guy plays well on his debut.

Mysterious Chinese guy - He is that cartoon on David's msn avatar comes to life.

Ridzwan - He came back from the dead thanks to my persuasion. Well, as he said, he's a bit rusty after not playing with us for soooo long.

Boy I got a treat for all of you. Below is the penalty shootout between Manchester United and Chelsea in the 2008 UEFA Champions League Final. PLEASE click below. Hurry up before YouTube removes it!

H8FC Training 25 June 2011

13 people played today I guess. Alex, Crazy, David, Syahrein, Wee Zheng, Tang Yao, Cher Siang, Jerwin, Ah San, the very voluptuous Joey, Daniel, Keith and Chinese Uncle.

Chinese Uncle played with us for the first time. He looks like an ordinary man in his 50s. He played well with basic passes short and long. Most youngsters want to be like Cristiano Ronaldo who showed plenty of dribbling skills or Lionel Messi. A team cannot have 10 Ronaldos. One simple tackle and a through ball to the middle will beat any team who tried to play with 10 Ronaldos.

There was also a heated arguement between Tang Yao and Crazy. When Tang Yao was drawn with a team he sees lousy, he refuses to save any shots as goalkeeper and wanted to end the match fast with the 5th goal. Crazy was playing as his opponent and chided Tang Yao for giving up without effort. Tang Yao was so angry he yelled at Crazy to look at his lousy team.

One of our key players had this take on Tang Yao - 'When Crazy scored to make it 4-0, he was pissed that Tang Yao wasn't serious at all. In fact Tang Yao's team should be pissed. Then Tang Yao was not happy because he thinks he was in a lousy team and he doesn't need to be serious. Then they started arguing. I think this is bad. Well I would have chided Tang Yao if he's in my team.'

The ground is heavily uneven and the goalposts are not the standard football goalposts. We need to play in a real football field. Then we will see our real football skills. I played on the Bishan Stadium field a long, long time ago. Passes and shots were all on target as the ground was very flat and artificial. One day, just one day, we have to sacrifice some money and rent a stadium. If we can eat buffet for $30, why can't we poll money to rent a stadium just once? We have to pamper ourselves once in a while. Once we get a taste of playing on a professional ground, rest assured when you all are working adults, we will be playing at stadiums every weekend. :)

H8FC Training 18 June 2011

Another Power Ranking...

#10 - Syahrein. I was a horrible vegetable. I could see through the eyes of David and Tang Yao they want to murder me for so many missed chances. Thank God they kept it inside and didn't let their feelings show.

#9 - Wee Zheng. Don't get me wrong. Although he's ranked 9th, he is way much better than me at 10th.

#8 - Daniel. Yes he scored some spectacular goals but he's stubborn in trying his luck from distance.

#7 - Keith. A bit not like his usual self.

#6 - Tang Yao. Super goalkeeper. But shouldn't give up till the 5th goal is scored.

#5 - Malay Gangster. One of his off days.

#4 - Shyong Ming. Silky touches like a young Ronaldinho. (Remember him?)

#3 - Ah San. Put plenty of experience to his good use.

#2 - David. Powerful midfielder whose piledrivers are difficult for goalkeepers to catch.

#1 - Crazy(Kang Xiang). Did I get this right? He won in every team he was in. Clever defender, knows when to go up and when to track back.

H8FC Training 11 June 2011

Today I'll try something new. It's called Power Ranking...


#12 - JoEy. We can't expect much from a fatgirl. Calling Wee Zheng 'Teddy bear! Teddy bear!' Up her ass lah!

#11 - ChEr SiAnG - Down with injury.

#10 - SyAhReIn - 2 goals, few assists can't propel me higher. The rest are just better.

#9 - WeE zHeNg - Was spurred on by Joey.

#8 - TaNg YaO - Did his best as goalkeeper.

#7 - KeItH - Shows our squad is strong when he did well yesterday but ranked #7.

#6 - CrAzY - Good showing as usual. Excellent stamina. But goes forward and exposed the defence.

#5 - DaViD - Nice fancy touches. Scores goals every training session.

#4 - ShYoNg MiNg - That assist from me when I slided the ball from left to right for him to score shows he's best as overlapping winger.

#3 - MaLaY GaNgStEr - I don't understand why he asks me for the ball but when I'm open he doesn't pass me?

#2 - AlEx - An excellent midfielder who dictates play.

#1 - AH SAN - This old man is that damn good. I'm baffled how he smokes so many cigarettes and yet play better than any of us.

H8FC Training 4 June 2011

Sorry for the late post. I keep on thinking how the hell am I going to get that AV girl or is it easier to nail my freaking hot next-door-neighbour. Anyways...

I'm at a lost so I guess I'll just give ratings...

Crazy - I think must be the uneven ground. He's not his usual self like three-lunged Park Ji-Sung. B+

David - Syahrein is on your left David, on your left. Oh you pass to MG, he shoots...wide. B+

Wee Zheng - Slowly improving. B

Syahrein - AH SHADDUP LAH! You all don't want to pass the ball to me. :( C+

Shyong Ming - At least he passes the ball to me. Diagonal long balls which I can't trap. B+

Tang Yao - The first time I saw Tang Yao in singlet and shorts in 2007...fast-forward 2011 and he matures damn fast. B

Malay Gangster - He's selfish on this day. What's the point of great link-up play and finishing with a long range shot that's not on target? The ground is UNEVEN. Long shots are useless unless you're Alex. A-

Malay Guy - First time with us. Shows he can play defence well. A-

Malay Guy's little brother - Poor. He's young so there's time to learn. C-

Ah San - This old man is gold. A

How Meng - A clinical finisher. Deadly. A-

Kelvin - Again someone who refuses to pass me the ball. I'm the camper on the left! Can't you see I'm dark? B

Jerwin - Light-weight. But showing improvement with his passes. C+

Keith - He's on the right track in life. This type of guys will carry Singapore in the future. NOT Ah Bengs. A

Ah San's son - WTH? D-

H8FC Training 28 May 2011

Training, training, training. Why can't we get some physical contact and get a match? During the World Cup, a soccer babe called Wahidah wanted to challenge us to a match. But all of you backed out. Well, she finished 2nd in the contest. So what if we lose to her Liverpool boys? When will we ever get to meet up with a soccer babe???

Today 14 people played:

Alex
David
Crazy
Syahrein
Wee Zheng
Tang Yao
Malay Gangster
How Meng
Kelvin
Wei Yao
Cher Siang
Shyong Ming
Keith
Jerwin

Today was a very good workout. As usual we played series of 5 goal matches. But the one that stands out is the last one...

Team A

Syahrein
Crazy
David
Malay Gangster
Jerwin
Shyong Ming
How Meng

Team B

Tang Yao
Cher Siang
Alex
Wee Zheng
Kelvin
Wei Yao
Keith

I couldn't remember who scored the goals or what sequence. So I got the help of the 'intelligent' Wee Zheng(you all mean call him Da Pang) on messenger. Here's how the conversation goes...

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:45:59 PM): I need your help

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:46:18 PM): I want to write about last match which my team won 5-3

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:46:34 PM): But I can't remember the sequence

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:46:37 PM): o.o

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:46:54 PM): u all leading 1-0

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:47:00 PM): Who scored?

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:47:09 PM): david with turnaround volley

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:47:19 PM): Ok 1-1 how?

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:47:27 PM): we equalised 1-1 through alex i think

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:47:43 PM): Then...?

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:48:23 PM): then we lead 2-1

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:48:53 PM): keith scored

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:49:04 PM): 3-1?

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:49:05 PM): then 3-1,i scored

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:49:13 PM): 3-2

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:49:17 PM): I have to tell you something...

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:49:22 PM): ?

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:49:31 PM): I'm copying and pasting this convo on the post

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:49:40 PM): -.-

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:49:49 PM): write more la

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:49:51 PM): lol

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:49:54 PM): So please say wisely or you kena hantam by Crazy

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:50:05 PM): Ok 3-2 who scored?

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:50:47 PM): i forgotten-.-

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:51:12 PM): Come on try to recall...

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:51:13 PM): 3-2 is how meng or sm

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:51:25 PM): Ok who equalized?

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:51:50 PM): 3-3 the MG equalised

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:51:57 PM): 4-3?

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:52:02 PM): after brilliant run and pass by sm

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:52:10 PM): 4-3 jerwin scored

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:52:15 PM): WTF?

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:52:20 PM): That midget scored?

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:52:33 PM): LOL

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:52:34 PM): ya

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:52:38 PM): 5-3 is MG with a good finish?

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:52:39 PM): top corner shot

Wee Zheng (28/5/2011 10:53:00 PM): 5-3 MG wrapped up the game with a thumping long range shot

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:53:07 PM): Ok thanks man

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:53:17 PM): And Madam Juliana is hot

syahrein81 (28/5/2011 10:53:24 PM): End of convo

I guess by the time you people read this, it will be either Manchester United or Barcelona winning the UEFA Champions League.

H8FC Training 21 May 2011

Today Doomsday? Tomorrow at 12pm if the world is still fine, let this be a lesson to all of you - you have the RIGHT to choose what you believe in!

Today 11 players played:

Alex
David
Crazy
Syahrein
Wee Zheng
Tang Yao
Shyong Ming
Cher Siang
Keith
Ah San
How Meng

Alex is a bit rusty from camp. There was once he tried to get the ball from me but his momentum caused him to fall. I did not do that to him. He is still showing his playmaking skills.

David and his boom-boom shots as per normal.

Crazy is an all-round player. He MUST go for trials at JC or Poly.

Wee Zheng got too many misplaced passes. But he can score at least.

Tang Yao is showing signs of maturity. I think that's good.

Shyong Ming is most suitable as a winger. Don't know why he likes to play defence.

Keith is a very useful player. I was a bit like him last time before my father ruined my life. Keith is the replacement at right-back for the now gangster Nazri.

Ah San was more interested playing with little children than play with us.

We haven't got a match since How Meng arrived. Interesting to see how he fares against opposition.

Let me tell you all this old trick on how to put people down. Everyone got his own strengths and weaknesses. To put people down, all you got to do is ignore any strengths the person has and magnify the person's weaknesses. Say it to the person's face. Whatever his reply, shoot the person down by telling the person's weaknesses one by one. Good luck if both of you get into a fight and end up in Boys' Home.

Cher Siang has been putting me down since the middle of last year. A few months ago I thought he can't stand me because I'm lousy at football. Today, when I scored two beautiful goals, I realized this short, fat boy really hate me to the core. Notice whenever I get the ball on the left-wing, he would go all-out and deliver really nasty tackles on me. He didn't do this to Alex or David or the rest but ONLY me.

I've been tolerating his nonsense for a long time. He's using that old trick on me. He tells everyone in Chinese that I'm lousy bla, bla, bla. He pretends not to see the nice goals I scored, the assists I made or even the money I gave him or the drinks I belanja him. Today I had enough of all his bad wording me in Chinese and the rough tackles he did to ONLY me. So I scolded him back and he scolded me back. If I really have mental illness, I would kill him wouldn't I? I am never siao. It's my father who send me there to ask doctors for medicine to turn me into what he wants me to be.

I should've kept my cool today. Cher Siang may be a little better than me in football but I'm better-looking, I am qualified for Polytechnic and I've met Iain Macintosh in person. His hatred and jealousy for me is just too much. I'm going to IGNORE him from now until forever. Next Saturday, he can fucking cripple me for all I care if I play against him. He can call all his roody-poo gangster friends to kill me. I don't fucking care. I will pass him the ball if we are in same team. But that's it. When I ignore people, I don't say a single word to that person at all for life.

Wait for the next time my name appears on The New Paper again.

H8FC Training 14 May 2011

I couldn't believe there are only 4 people to start with. Me, David, Crazy and Wee Zheng. Where are the other 4 core members and the rest? Tang Yao said he's sick, Cher Siang was too lazy to come, Alex was in camp and where's Shyong Ming? We went to our forbidden ground and set up one goalpost.

Shyong Ming arrived later. Then Daniel. Then Jerwin. Jerwin?! Looks like he is the surviving member of the YCK clan. So now we got 7 people to play. A few of us went to collect the other goalposts. God must be smiling at me as JOEY and Ah San arrived to play with us.

Series of 5 on 4 matches? Better than nothing. As you all know, I am attracted to that fat fuck Joey. I think she's hot. But today, she made me realize something. She fucking looks down on me too much.

To think that she actually thinks Wee Zheng is a better person than me makes me sick to the stomach. Now I'm not an intelligent bad person who brings down a person by zeroing in on the person's weaknesses and refuses to look at the person's strengths. Wee Zheng got some good qualities. He is smart that's why he did well for his 'O' levels.

Joey doesn't like me. She refuses to accept me as friend on messenger. She ignores me even when we are in the same team. She's disgusted by me when those uncles told her I'm interested in her. Plus I get this hunch that Wee Zheng told her all the dirty thoughts I had of her.

Now for her to glorify Wee Zheng everytime she joins us is like a kick to my testicles. She calls him 'teddy bear'. I bet only two people in this whole universe who thinks Wee Zheng is more handsome and a better footballer than me - Joey and Wee Zheng himself.

Today, Joey said 3 things that totally piss me off...

*"His new gloves are useless". In referring to the new $33 goalkeeper gloves I bought.

*"His crosses are terrible". In referring to my crosses.

*"As if he's so clever". When I got tired of Wee Zheng asking me the score and said to him that he scored well for his 'O' levels and can't even count the score.

She really thinks Wee Zheng is better than me doesn't she? Yes I'm jealous and I have EVERY right to be. Until his picture or name appears on a newspaper winning something, he can't hold my gun.

There are many reasons why Joey doesn't like me. She doesn't like the colour of my skin and even if one day I become the richest man in the planet, she will still be calling Wee Zheng 'teddy bear'. Even if he got no house and money because his henchmen turn on him and force him to bankruptcy.

Joey can take Wee Zheng's 20kg head, ruffle his dandruff-filled hair real good, turn his head sideways and stick it straight up her XXXL size, fat, candy ass!!!

H8FC Training 7 May 2011

We made a mistake of playing around 12pm. The weather was freaking hot. We didn't dare to play at our forbidden ground because there were police guarding the poll station. So we went to the smaller field. We were shocked to see so many mimosa plants growing on the pitch. We had no choice but to play. Here are the 10 guys who played...

Alex
David
Crazy
Syahrein
Wee Zheng
Tang Yao
Cher Siang
How Meng
Shyong Ming
Keith

Today I'm not going to say what we did last Saturday. I'm revisiting our past and how we've come to where we are right now.

It all started when the Teo brothers decided to play street soccer in 2007. I was already a legend in the street soccer courts and those bad boys call me 'Alex'. (Not to be confused with our Alex). At that time I had no team. I just played GK for any team who needed me. For 5 years I was humiliated by those bad boys treating me like a retard. Then somewhere in 2007, everything changed...

I was at the lower court. I looked back and saw the Teo brothers Alex, David and Crazy play in the upper court. So I politely asked them whether I can join them. Then a primary school Tang Yao and Cher Siang join. There are also others like Kinseng, Andy, Louise, Jackie and many more.

Then one day I joined them at the round hall and David said,'Writer Of The Month'. I was pleasantly surprised as on that day they bought The New Paper and saw my picture in it. This is what sealed my friendship with the Teo brothers. I'm much older than them and I don't think they will let me be their friend if they never see me on TNP.

In 2008 came the arrival of Shyong Ming and Wee Zheng. Also the appearance of a girl that everyone of us fell in love with, Joeleen. I'm going to let out a secret that I've been keeping in my chest for a long time - there was a time when I cried profusely when I think of her. I love her yet I hate her for spending her time with bad handsome pai-kias rather than us. If only she hangs around with us every Saturday, she won't be a slut like she is right now. If I see her again, I'm going to ignore her. All the guys that were with her are bad pai-kias. When I sing Justin Timberlake's 'What Goes Around Comes Around', I think of my ex, my neighbour and Joeleen.

In 2008 I was in Temasek Polytechnic, every Saturday we played street soccer. There was once a bunch of them disrespected me at the lower court. So I went to the upper court and saw Alex and David playing 'tennis'. I also didn't know what a boy called Fat Joe was doing there. I talked to Alex and David we should form a group. Calling ourselves 'The Horsemen'. I roped in Fat Joe and the four of us were the founding members of The Horsemen. The rest of them are called Backside Boys.

I missed those Saturday 7pm time when there is always Horsemen v Backside Boys. I met Andy in the lift and persuaded him to join us again. Fat Joe fucked off so now Horsemen were me, Alex, David and Andy. Sometimes Shyong Ming and Wee Zheng joined us. Oh how I missed those 10-goal matches when most of the times Horsemen win and sometimes Backside Boys win. I played GK and had to endure hard shots from people like Crazy, Kinseng and Cher Siang. There was also Ridzwan who was part of The Horsemen. Sadly, he and Nazri are now gangsters.

2009 our street soccer escapades continued. Then in 2010 we changed our game completely. The Teo brothers' father took us to Buangkok where we now play field football. From street soccer shoes to soccer boots and from concrete ground to grass. That's how we are until now. Thanks to the Teo brothers' uncle who created goalposts for us. Now it's time we look in the future...

The core of us are the 8 - Alex, Crazy, Wee Zheng, David, Cher Siang, Shyong Ming, Tang Yao and me because we were there when it all started. The rest can be part of the core if they sticked with us long. I really hope we will still be playing when we are married with kids. I think by that time we should have money to rent a stadium.

This is my dream - Hougang 8 FC to join a league with me as manager. (I doubt I'll still be playing). Our wives, girlfriends and kids will watch us play every Saturday. Anything can happen.

H8FC Training 30 April 2011

I guess I'll just give report card for the 14 of us who played...

David - Our midfield enforcer is his usual self. Blasting the ball from distance. A-

Crazy - He can run and run. Excellent stamina. A-

Syahrein - The author of this blog can talk football but crap at playing. C+

Daniel - Is the ground bumpy or his shots are poor? Still a lethal striker. B

Tall Indian Guy(aka Italy guy) - Class player. All-round footballer. A

Tall Indian Guy's student - Cut this boy some slack. He's a primary school student. B

Malay Gangster - Every week, I wonder to myself. How can a nice guy like him got tattoos? Maybe he was a bad guy turned good. A+

Malay Gangster's little friend - At least he scored. B-

How Meng - A very good player. Interesting to see how he is few years later. A-

Tang Yao - Good defender. Good goalkeeper. B

Shyong Ming - He is best on the wings. Shouldn't play defender. Instead he can track back as a winger. B+

Keith - Nazri is now a gangster so if we have another match, Keith will slot in perfectly as an overlapping right-back. A

Cher Siang - His idol is Nemanja Vidic. Didn't Vidic handballed against Arsenal which referee and linesman didn't saw? B


Ok everyone, it's time for Crazy Rooney to give his personal analysis of Wee Zheng...do click on the comment box...

H8FC Training 23 April 2011

We played two 5 goal matches today. Surprisingly the 2nd one took a long time to finish. Quite a lot of people play today so I think this is the line-up...

Team A -
Syahrein
Tang Yao
Cher Siang
Malay Gangster
Alex
Kelvin
Daniel
Keith

Team B -
Crazy
David
Shyong Ming
Wee Zheng
Army Guy
Ah San
Joey
How Meng

Team A 1 Team B 0 -
My team drew first blood as Alex rifled the ball home.

Team A 1 Team B 1 -
After Alex's goal, it took a long time before someone scores. That someone is David who shot the ball fast and low that I couldn't save. (I played goalkeeper)

Team A 2 Team B 1 -
Keith with an audacious chip to put Team A ahead again.

Team A 2 Team B 2 -
Again it's David with a thunderbolt that I failed to save.

Half-time shuffling -
Army Guy got to go home because of injury. The lovely Joey came on for Team B.

Team A 3 Team B 2 -
Alex scored his second goal to put Team A ahead again. The match was beginning to go see-saw.

Team A 4 Team B 2 -
Daniel justified that he's like David Villa by scoring our 4th goal. One more goal and we win.

Team A 4 Team B 3 -
I don't know how the hell Ah San managed to squeeze in between Cher Siang and Tang Yao and score past me.

Team A 5 Team B 3 -
One of the funniest moment ever. Joey, who thinks Wee Zheng is better than me, did a back pass to him. I don't know what Wee Zheng was thinking but he couldn't stop that back pass and the ball trickled into goal. GAME SET.

Man Of The Match - TANG YAO
Tang Yao is known as being goalkeeper but on this day, I become goalkeeper and let Tang Yao be centre-defence. For a big guy, he was outstanding as defender. He blocked around a million shots. Along with Cher Siang, these two are like the brothers of destruction in the heart of defence. Like Undertaker and Kane. Next time we have match, I will play goalkeeper and let Tang Yao play defender. My tactic of letting Tang Yao and Cher Siang play defence and the rest attack paid off handsomely. Till next Saturday, have a good life guys!

Crazy Rooney Kang Xiang is going to give his piece of mind about Wee Zheng on this post. So guys click the comment box and see what he got to say...

H8FC Training 16 April 2011

Last Saturday there were 15 people playing football. They are...

Alex
David
Crazy
Syahrein
Wee Zheng
Keith
Shyong Ming
Ah San
Joey
Malay Gangster
How Meng
Wei Yao
Kelvin
Cher Siang
Tang Yao

It was Joey's birthday! She doesn't like me. :( Girls don't like guys who view them as a sexual object. Well good luck to them if their future husbands CMI on their bed.

Alex played very well on that day. I said it before and I'll say it again - Alex is a playmaker. He's in the mould of Rafael van der Vaart and Frank Lampard.

Crazy and his new Nani jersey is funny. I told him to dribble like Nani on the flanks but he just pumped the ball center.

David reminds me of Michael Ballack.

Wee Zheng told Alex that he doesn't like me and he's better in football than me? Well, that's what he said.

Keith is really deadly in right-back. Can do overlapping runs.

Shyong Ming should try to go for his Poly football team. No harm in trying?

Ah San returned from his injury! This old man smokes a lot and it's a wonder how he got good stamina.

Malay Gangster is not showing any signs of being a gangster. He's polite and humble and play football really well.

How Meng is dangerous with his headers. I said he's like Chicharito and when I asked him later, he said his favourite player is Chicharito.

Wei Yao's trademark move of shooting far from the left didn't pay off again. But at least he can score goals.

Kelvin and his twists and turns.

Cher Siang is still cute with his baby fats. He will grow up to be the type of man he wants.

Tang Yao strangely for that day didn't use his mind games of calling people lousy. Maybe this is a sign he is getting matured.


Fun fact: There's two HOT girls and a guy sitting nearby where we play football. One girl wears MU jersey, skinny and pretty. The other one got huge assets. I like the pretty fat one with huge assests while the rest were gawking at the MU girl. I love Singapore with all the hot girls and hot moms!

H8FC Training 9 April 2011

13 of us played in a very rainy day today. They are...

Alex
David
Crazy
Wee Zheng
Keith
Shyong Ming
Daniel
Jerwin
Kelvin
Tang Yao
Cher Siang
Syahrein
Teck Seng

Well we all know playing in the rain on the uneven ground, there's very little to mention about our play today. I drilled Wee Zheng's head with mind games by saying I screwed one of his ex-teachers. It backfired as his team won and he scored past me. I was playing goalkeeper.

Then when the rain was too heavy and we were at the shelter, the Teo brothers and Daniel were entertained by my antics when I storytelled the fake story I e mailed them years ago about a fat girl. Hahaha. The story is such a classic and it contains 4 parts! I am so bad in corrupting their young minds with such stories.

Ok, we had fun playing in the rain didn't we? Next update I think I can think straight and report on our adventures every Saturday.

H8FC Training 2 April 2011

Today is a special time in the morning as the Teo brothers had to sweep tomb in the afternoon.

Here are the 10 who played...

Alex
David
Crazy
Wee Zheng
Syahrein
Malay Gangster
Cher Siang
Tang Yao
Shyong Ming
Keith

Today, amazingly, everyone scored except for Tang Yao. Well, TY did very well today as goalkeeper and defender. We played some 5 on 5 matches. I guess I'll highlight everyone's brightest moment.

Alex - Scored a beautiful goal totally beating the keeper. I can't describe but you people saw it.

David - Ran with the ball and hammered it home.

Crazy - Ran and ran. Stamina may be the same as '3-lunged' Park Ji-Sung.

Wee Zheng - King of interceptions.

Syahrein - A simple goal from distance.

Malay Gangster - Gave a few players the turnaround.

Cher Siang - Passes well from the back.

Tang Yao - Played as well as defender as goalkeeper.

Shyong Ming - Did he score not one, but two thunderbolts today?

Keith - Hat-trick hero.

H8FC Training 26 March 2011

I'll guess for today I'll just give short assessments and my unbias ratings. Our captain Alex was absent today but the show must go on.

David - He scored a few thunderbolt goals. He doesn't need to do assists when he can just shoot from distance, right? A

Crazy - My Man Of The Day. He can play defender and also as striker. Scoring goals after goals in a match. I highly recommend he joins his school's football team when in JC or Poly. A++

Syahrein - I'm just hopeless ok. C

How Meng - Did well today. He will be a successful man in the far future should he continue to behave well like this. A

Italian guy - Classy player. Plays like an Italian defender. A+

Italian guy's student - Very young boy. Can't judge him in his early years. B

Wee Zheng - Scored the last goal with a thumping header. He has improved a lot since the first time I knew him. B

Teck Seng - My buddy played quite well today. Better than me. C+

Kelvin - Did very well with his twist and turns. B

Jerwin - Needs to toughen up. But do good passes. C+

Cher Siang - Tried hard to be like Nemanja Vidic. I tried to be like Lampard and Malouda and ended up a disaster. Can't blame him. B

Tang Yao - Got a strong heart and though he's heavy, he puts a lot of effort to play. B

Shyong Ming - Mister everything. How many times must I say he's the complete football player? A++

Daniel - The David Villa guy does well by scoring lots of goals, his forte. A

H8FC Training 19 March 2011

11 people played today in some 6 on 5 matches. Ok you all want ratings, here are the ratings. I know it will offend some of you but you all asked for it...

David - He is his usual self but blew some clear-cut chances. B+

How Meng - Not his usual self. Gave away possessions as a defender. B

Alex - Scored some nice goals. A bit rusty after 2 weeks in camp. A classy footballer. A

Malay Gangster - He seems like a totally reformed person. Very good footballer. A

Shyong Ming - The complete footballer. Today is no different. A-

Syahrein(Q-S) - One of my best games today. B

Crazy - Very lively and will always try to win the ball. A

Daniel - The David Villa guy likes to balloon the ball. B

Keith - Played it simple but very effective. A-

Tang Yao - Good goalkeeping. Saved 3 shots in a row in a game. B+

Wee Zheng - Not fit but gave his all. Very crucial interceptions. B

I told you all some of you will not be happy with my ratings, right? Remember the phrase - 'Be careful what you ask for because you may just get it.'


Okay now we played some 6 on 5 matches. My pick for Game Of The Day is this one...

David
How Meng
Alex
Malay Gangster
Shyong Ming

VS

Syahrein
Crazy
Daniel
Keith
Tang Yao
Wee Zheng

Now my team may be 6 people against they 5. BUT. They are all-stars. With Alex, MG and SM running around, not even us can contain them right? Well they played the ball around like Barcelona and took a 4-0 lead. 4-0? You would have thought it was over? Nope. I managed to pull one back. And assisted some for Daniel. 4-4. We could have sealed a 5-4 comeback win with me playing a bit like Florent Malouda on the left always supplying crosses for Daniel. He almost scored for 5-4 but hit the post.

Now one might wonder how a 4-0 lead could become 4-4. I think mostly nobody marked me on the left. And How Meng was being generous to me. Also because Crazy never gave up defending even though we were 4-0 down. Keith defended very well too. The goal I scored to make it 4-1 is like an injection on Tang Yao's butt. Wee Zheng with his vital interceptions played a huge part.

David had to play goalkeeper and couldn't believe me and Daniel troubling his goal. Alex, MG and SM lost possession through misplaced passes because of the muddy ground. Well we played almost immediately after a very rainy day. The match was at 4-4. The sky getting darker. Shyong Ming kicked the ball into nowhere and we couldn't find it. It was a long match. 4-4. Ball lost.

H8FC Training 12 March 2011

12 people played today but I'm going to focus on one person - FOO C S

CS really hurt my feelings. He scolded me in Chinese to the other players. He HATES me, yes he HATES me because I'm very lousy in football. I cannot blame him. I really am lousy but for him to complain and whine to other people that I'm lousy really hurt me.

I guess what goes around comes around. I remember being in the Express stream of my school when I was around your age. I looked down on the Normal students. I totally deserve getting lambasted by CS though he doesn't tell it to my face and tell it in Chinese to the rest of the H8FC players.

There was a time when I was a pretty good footballer. I could last 90 minutes. All this came crashing down when my overly-worried father sent me to 'that' hospital. I take medicine until now and it's the medicine which makes me weak and have poor stamina.

CS is very young. He doesn't believe in Karma. Next time we are teamed up together, I will play goalkeeper. He can continue to hurt me every week by scolding about me in Chinese and throwing tantrums when I'm teamed up with him in a 5-goals match. He will understand when he's my age and younger people do the same to him like what he did to me.

H8FC Training 5 March 2011

14 of us played on this day. I'm going to do something funny for you all on this post. I'm going to go inside your head and try to guess what you think...

David = "Kanina. That Jerwin on the left pisses me off. Liverpool. Liverpool. With my Gerrard 8 jersey I will shoot very hard, don't care if the keeper injured."

Crazy = "Bloody Tang Yao. Laugh at me because Syahrein dribbled past me thrice. I'm leaving my defensive duties for Rooney role. You watch out fattie. I'm going to score past your fat ass."

Tang Yao = "Hahahaha. That Crazy cannot even win one-on-one with Syahrein. Syahrein such an old noob Crazy cannot even beat. Hahaha. I'm better than Lionel Lewis and more handsome too."

Syahrein = "Aiyah. Why Joey never come? She doesn't like me because I'm old is it? What does she see in that Teddy Bear Da Pang? Sigh."

Daniel = "I'm David Villa. I may not look like David Villa but I play like him. Villa. Villa."

Da Pang = "I'm the smartest person in this field. All my fantasy leagues I'm 1st. I'm intelligent. I play football as good as the Teo Brothers."

Jerwin = "People may say I'm lousy but I'm better than that old fart wearing number 81."

Wei Yao = "That old man with 81 jersey may assisted me once but he is old and useless. Oh I have the ball now. Don't pass him. Shoot. Shit! Why everytime over the bar?"

Kelvin = "Oh yeah I'm cute with my dyed hair and piercings. I'm cool man."

Ah San = "Wah. Pain. Fuck that fat bastard for stepping on my leg. Kanina. Later I screw his mom. Wah. Pain ah."

Keith = "Am I doing the right thing hanging with these people? I'm sure I'm in the right path."

Shyong Ming = "..."

Jia Qi = "Yay! I'm now 1st in the FPL League. I'm a good defensive midfielder. MU rocks."

How Meng = "Manchester United. Play to win."

H8FC Training 26 February 2011

A lot and I mean a lot of people came today. We played a series of 10 v 10 matches. These are the people who participated...

Alex
David
Crazy
Syahrein
Cher Siang
Tang Yao
Da Pang
Shyong Ming
Keith
Jia Qi
Malay Gangster
How Meng
Daniel
Wei Yao
Kelvin
Italy guy
Italy guy's tution student
Jerwin
Ronaldo guy
Ah San
Joey

I'm sorry if I missed out anyone because there were too many people today.

Points to ponder...

- Alex scored few goals but a thunderbolt from far out is the most outstanding one. The goalpost is small and for him to score from distance needed extreme accuracy. We will miss him for 2 weeks he's at NS.

- Syahrein(Q-S 81) scored another nice goal. Three weeks in a row I scored a nice goal when the sky is getting darker. Is this a sign from God? Hahahaha. I'm talking nonsense.

- Malay gangster is behaving very well the few times he played with us. Maybe, just maybe, he had did his time for a crime and came out reformed. As long as he continues to act good, he's welcome to play with us.

- How Meng is quiet but he is among the best player today. The ones that played well today are Alex, Crazy, Malay Gangster, Italy guy, Ronaldo Guy, Ah San and How Meng. He trusted me by passing the ball to me for my only goal. The rest of you would try long shots, dribble or pass the ball to another person and have no faith in me. I don't blame you. I know I'm lousy.

- Italy guy plays with such class. I can't remember his name. Was it Viknesh? He played like an Italian player all-round.

- Ronaldo Guy is too obsessed with Cristiano Ronaldo. His style of play and haircut is just like CR.

- For those of you whom I did not mention on this blog post, do not be disheartened. I will write about you if you did well. (Come on David, remember last time I wrote you scored hat-trick against YCK Bad Boys?)

- Joey, Joey, Joey. You are so beautiful in my eyes. You are not even interested in being my friend. :(

H8FC Training 19 February 2011

I'm sorry this post looks weak. Because working 4 days a week saps my energy. I have to walk a lot and cannot sit down. A normal person can last the distance but as you all know I'm taking medication which makes my stamina poor.

On that Saturday 11 people played...

Tang Yao = He is in superb form. I told you all when he's serious he's a top goalkeeper.

Syahrein = For two weeks running, I scored the last goal of our games.

Alex = Again, week after week, he showed class and skill that most people don't have and a few like him have.

David = He's the enforcer for any team he plays like Batista of past WWE team Evolution.

Crazy = Should join his JC/Poly school team. I'm sure the coach will put him as an overlapping left-back

Kelvin = Silky skills. I may put him first XI if we have another match while I just become a substitute-manager.

How Meng = All-round skills. He is the answer of our missing right-back.

Daniel = Fast player. Superb running with the ball skills.

Daniel's friend = This Malay guy played like Cristiano Ronaldo. Very fit and have abundance of tricks. Scores nice goals.

Malay Gangster #1 - As long as he is a gentleman playing with us and don't show his pai-kia side, I'm ok with him playing with us.

Cher Siang - People tend to underestimate him too much. I think he's a good central defender.


Before we played our games, me, Alex, How Meng, Crazy, David, Cher Siang and Tang Yao were kicking about the ball in front of Ah San's home. Suddenly two policemen stopped their car and wrote down our particulars for kicking a ball at a void deck which is an offence. The Indian policeman is the SAME policeman who interrogated me and Teck Seng after Raid accused us of stealing his handphone. We got nowhere to play. Near Ah San's house the field says 'No Ball Games' and the other one says 'No Trespassing'. Maybe it's time we go back to playing street soccer?

H8FC Outing Valentine's Day

Last Monday, Alex, David, Crazy, Cher Siang, Da Pang, Teck Seng and me are the only H8FC players who went to Hougang Stadium to watch Hougang United vs Woodlands Wellington in an S-League match. Hougang United won 1-0 and we went home very happy.

I'm happy that we spent Valentine's Day together. Although love among us are not couple love. My love for the young teenagers of H8FC is a brotherly love. My little brother hates me. He wishes I'm dead. So as my little sister. They think I'm the one in the wrong for ending up in that hospital. It's all my father's fault. He had ruined my life many times by sending me to that hospital. And he brainwashed my ex into hating me and dumping me.

I felt really sad too on Valentine's Day that Indian girl I liked in the program ignored the poem I wrote on her blog. The next day, she flirted excessively with another trainee at the library and they wrote a stupid story together. That guy was so proud of what he did and smsed me to tell me what he did with her.

Saturday is my happiest day because I play football with people who accept me and laugh at all my jokes. I fear deeply in my heart they will stop playing football to be with their girlfriends when they find one. Those people who say they are my friends in the training program didn't even ask for me after I 'graduated'. Please H8FC people, promise me we will still play football until we cannot play anymore.

H8FC Training 12 February 2011

We played 3 matches today. First team to score 5 goals win. I can't remember who is in which team. I'll try to remember who played today...

Alex
David
Crazy
Syahrein
Tang Yao
Cher Siang
Da Pang
How Meng
Jia Qi
Keith
Malay Gangster #1
Malay Gangster #2
Italy guy
Wei Yao
Kelvin
Blue-shirt boy
Jerwin
Shyong Ming

Did I miss anyone? Someone please tell me.

Alex is our best technical player.

David keeps on shooting hard.

Crazy and his superb defending.

Syahrein shocked everyone by scoring 2 goals.

Tang Yao when serious, is a top goalkeeper.

Cher Siang defends very well.

Da Pang does good for his size.

How Meng and his professional play.

Jia Qi is like Michael Carrick.

Keith plays simple and effectively.

Malay Gangster #1 in pink T-Shirt played like a Man United player.

Malay Gangster #2 is big-sized and plays like Rio Ferdinand.

Italy Guy played composed and with class.

Wei Yao shoots the ball with a poacher's instinct.

Kelvin is an excellent midfielder with his twists and turns.

Blue-shirt boy is the smallest on the pitch but plays with heart.

Jerwin tried and tried on the wings.

Shyong Ming was attacking and defending. He's everywhere.

MEET SOME OF YOU ON MONDAY TO CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY. I LOVE YOU ALL MY LITTLE BROTHERS!

H8FC Training 5 February 2011

It was 8 against 8 today as we are late because the Teo brothers attended a party. The 8 vs 8 went like this...

Group A the formation was 3-2-2 I think

GK - Syahrein

CD - Joey
CD - Ah San
CD - Crazy

LM - Keith
RM - Shyong Ming

ST - How Meng
ST - How Meng's Malay Friend

Group B was an all-star studded line-up. 3-3-1

GK - Tang Yao

CD - Da Pang
CD - Cher Siang
CD - Jia Qi

CM - Alex
CM - David
CM - Da Pang's Friend

ST - Daniel

Group A went against all odds and lead 3-0. Then Crazy made a mistake of asking to be goalkeeper when it's 3-1. His capabilities outfield was sorely needed as Group B equalized 3-3. I(Syahrein) went back to being keeper and the match was taken to Golden Goal tied at 5-5. The sky became darker and darker and David settled it for Group B by scoring the winner 6-5.

Special points to mention:

*When seperating the teams, Tang Yao looked down on me severely when he made it clear he doesn't want to be in my team. He will be sad to know some H8FC players told me they would rather have me as keeper than him.

*Ah San what's his age? 45? 50? He is a very, very good football player. Even smoking doesn't stop him from playing well. Phenomenal.

*Crazy(Kang Xiang) is an extremely good defender. He is the reason why the score was 6-5 and not 6-1 or 6-2.

*David scored another hat-trick. Difficult to save his shots.

I'm glad Joey came today. She's such a joy in my eyes. She may not like me by refusing to add me on messenger and not talking to me at all on the football pitch. This is because you people tell her what I think about her. (I bet I'm not the only one only they don't say it). Well, that's what put girls off about me - my fantasies about them I tell the guys. Joey may be fat but her bubbly personality is what attracts the guys. I wish I have plenty of female friends like her. My life would be near complete.

H8FC Training 22 January 2011

On 22 January 2011, 10 Hougang 8 players played a series of 5-on-5. Here are my summary of them...

Alex = He is his usual self. A playmaker who is all-round.

Syahrein = I am a crap outfield player. I'm only good as goalkeeper.

David = Powerful midfielder. Shoots the ball powerfully.

Crazy = These 3 brothers - Alex, David and Crazy got strong genes. All are natural sportsmen.

Kelvin = He reminds me of Blackburn's Morten Gamst Pedersen. Getting better each Saturday.

Wei Yao = He can score simple, nice, effective goals.

Blue shirt boy = Smallest player on the pitch. But plays with his heart. Brilliant effort put in.

Daniel = Very fit but cannot finish off many oppurtunities. Maybe big, standard goalposts can.

Tang Yao = Seems not serious. How can play while using handphone? Maybe he's serious only as goalkeeper for his school team.

How Meng = Quiet boy but speaks through his football. Hope he maintains that way and not led astray becoming a bad boy in the future.

H8FC Training 15 January 2011

Today 11 people played on a rainy day...

Alex
David
Crazy
Q-S
Da Pang
Shyong Ming
Wei Yao
Kelvin
Jerwin
Daniel
Eddy

Alex, David and Crazy were against me, Da Pang and Shyong Ming in a 3-on-3 at first. Only me, Da Pang and Shyong Ming were wearing our jersey. (Q-S 81, Wee Zheng 17 and Shyong Ming 10). My team won 3-2.

Then the three boys Wei Yao, Jerwin and Kelvin came. We played 5-on-4. Alex, David, me, Da Pang, Jerwin on one team. Crazy, Shyong Ming, Wei Yao and Kelvin on the other. Then a new 31 year old Malay guy called Eddy came and joined us. I don't know if he's a bad Malay guy turned good or a good Malay guy like me who people think is bad at first look because we are dark-skinned Malays. He seems ok the first time he plays with us. Hope he doesn't bring bad Malay guys along for our next training. Eddy played for the other team and then Daniel came to make it 6-on-5. We won 10-8.

The next match was another 6-on-5. This time I'm with Eddy, Jerwin, Wei Yao, Shyong Ming and Da Pang against the rest. We put on a good performance and could even take them who are better to the limits. The score was at 9-9 and I made spectacular saves as goalkeeper from David and Alex. Kelvin scored the Golden Goal. 10-9.

Eddy left and said he will join us again. We played 5-on-5 as the sky is already dark. Me, Crazy, Shyong Ming, Da Pang and Jerwin against the rest. I decided to play outfield and scored a goal. But my team lost 5-2.

H8FC 5(David 3, Uncle 'Zidane', Raid) YCK Bad Boys 3(Daniel 3)

Before the match, we had a 'lottery' to see which 4 of us are going to play for YCK Bad Boys. Turned out it's...Teck Seng, Tang Yao, Jerwin and Daniel(Indian David Villa Guy).

As I am the player-manager, they ask me for formation. Well, it's 4-4-1 at first then Uncle 'Zidane' came in and it was 4-4-1-1. The four midfielders are given licence to roam everywhere ala Barcelona.

GK = Syahrein

LB = White Shirt Boy
CD = Crazy
CD = Cher Siang
RB = How Meng

CM = Alex
CM = David
CM = Kelvin
CM = Wei Yao

RW = Uncle 'Zidane'

ST = Raid

Nice formation eh? I don't care if you all think my formation was crap. We WON and that's all that matters. The back four did tremendously well. Alex and David are biological brothers so they form a telepathy in the middle of the park. Wei Yao and Kelvin are best friends so they know each other's game. Raid likes to drop back which is ok. While Uncle 'Zidane' plays very well at his age.

Play-by-play:

0-1 = Daniel breezed through and put me to the sword with the first goal. (I'm playing goalkeeper)

1-1 = David equalized with a thunderbolt of a goal

2-1 = Again, David scored. It just is his day

3-1 = Remarkable. David scored his 3rd and of course HAT-TRICK. Looks like he is more potent wearing 'David 9' than 'Gerrard 8'. It's always better to be yourself

4-1 = Uncle 'Zidane' scored like he is around my age

5-1 = Shot by Alex rebounded to Raid who slotted home

5-2 = Daniel never gave up and scored another one

5-3 = Last kick of the game. Daniel took the corner and I accidentally directed the ball into goal. Though YCK Bad Boys lost, Daniel scored hat-trick too.

Why do I call them YCK Bad Boys? Because they were schoolmates in Yio Chu Kang Primary. Bad boys because 99.99% of underaged smokers are bad. I thought they were going to play rough but I'm pleased they didn't. A couple of them even joked with me so it's a harmonious football match.

I think I should be full-time goalkeeper seeing I saved many shots today. Forget about being like Frank Lampard. Medicine I'm taking kills my stamina. Now should I buy goalkeeper's gloves?

H8FC Training New Year's Day

A lot of people came. We played 2-side. One team consists of Tang Yao-Cher Siang-Da Pang-Crazy-Wei Yao-Jerwin-Ah San-Daniel and the other team is Kevin-Raid-Shyong Ming-David-Alex-Teck Seng-Kelvin 6-How Meng-Syahrein. It was 8 against 9. I played for the team with extra man and we lost!

When I look at it, the team that won got 3 defenders, 2 midfielders and 2 strikers. In my team, we have 1 defender, 6 midfielders and 1 striker. For their team, Crazy was defending at the best quality. I say Crazy Rooney Kang Xiang is the man of the match. Any opposition got the ball, he would win the ball from him in his best ability.

Cher Siang did well in defence too. And Ah San with his vast experience can outsmart 5 men in midfield. For my team, we were humiliated. Everyone in my team excluding Alex refused to pass the ball to me. They don't see the big picture. They think I'm lousy because my style of play is to immediately pass the ball when I get it? So what did they do after refusing to pass the ball to an open me? They tried to dribble and lose possession. If only they pass the ball to me, I would quick release it to an open player. My passes when compared to their dribbling and losing possession got a higher success rate. I think I should play goalkeeper and only play outfield when someone else wants to be keeper. Switching back to old medicine gives me little stamina.

Raid, who long time never play with us since he moved to Tampines lost his iPhone. I don't know who stole it. If you have an expensive handphone, never leave it alone. If you have to bring, switch off your handphone and place password on it so other people can't access your phone. Happy New Year. May we play football together forever until we are old and can't play anymore. Long live Hougang 8!